Today I wanted to do a post about relationships and friendships. Both very valuable and so needed on this earth, we all need each other….for support and help to get through life. There was a movie I recently watched with my husband called “Valentines Day” it’s one of those movies about love of some sort and shows you all the different lives from a wide range of different couples. Those just engaged, those single, those falling for someone, those young and obsessed etc you get the point. Overall it was a really good movie but there was one part that stuck out to me the most that I want to talk about.
Ashton Kutcher plays this guy who owns a flower shop and has been in a relationship with his girlfriend for awhile and as she wakes up from bed he explains how his dad told him when you find the one don’t let her go….needless to say he took out a box and proposed to her right there. (GF in movie is Jessica Alba) So he’s now on cloud nine and just so excited about life…she said yes and wears the ring but you can tell she’s a little uneasy about it. To make a long story short there’s a scene wear the gf now fiance walks in to his flower shop and she isn’t wearing the ring. Ashton is a little worried and doesn’t understand but she just explains she wants to take things slow but wasn’t saying no. )I guess it freaked her out a bit, it was a shock than a happy surprise thing) So Ashton is okay with that and very patient with her…etc etc and then after the movie goes on it comes back to Ashton coming home to his apartment and finds that Jessica is packing her stuff and suit cases are on the bed and she’s obviously ready to leave. He is crushed and trying to stop her from leaving and she basically spills she doesn’t want to get married.
Here is where I am getting to my point….he comes out to meet with his friend (George Lopez) and told him what happened and now that they were broken up his friend and everyone starts telling Ashton that he was way better off…they weren’t a good match..she wasn’t in to him…he deserved better..the list went on about how everyone really felt. Ashton then comes upset and starts yelling and asks in heart ache to his friend (George Lopez) and says
“Everyone has felt this way this whole time? And nobody told me or said anything? Why, why didn’t any tell me? Why didn’t anyone warn me?”
And this quote my friends was the quote that inspired me to write this blog. Really pay attention to what he was asking. A lot of times as friends or relatives we try to tell our friends/relatives that maybe they are making a mistake or maybe they should reconsider marrying someone. But the hard thing is a lot of people stuck in the situation can’t hear what you are trying to say…that’s why they say “love is blind” because it truly is. Usually people from the outside looking in can see a lot more than you can. But since Ashton loved this girl so much and clearly she really wasn’t in to him…he would have probably been upset if his friend even said “shes not into you…I think you should move on, everything he wanted to hear” sometimes people have to learn the hard way.
So my question for everyone, if you really love your friends/family and they seemed deeply concerned about something really take that in. I think this is a big part of maturity to be able to really listen to the people that care about you so deeply have to say. Don’t be the person that has to learn the hard way and end up frustrated or heart broken or with the wrong person and then you’re stuck. If you’re friends/family or telling you maybe you should wait to get married you should open your hears and really take in what all of your loved ones are saying. Would you rather people fake to be happy for you? and really hold what they feel inside? No, that would be horrible. Friendships and close family should be able to be honest with each other and open to help each other grow into better people.
I heard a pastor once say this..and I believe it has to do with everything in life…whether your boss is correcting you and you don’t believe it’s true, or your friends are saying something about you and your relationship, or getting married…anything in life… “There is a nugget of truth in everything thrown at us” meaning if someone is really upset or maybe someone is yelling at us – instead of fighting back or getting mad at them – we should be at the edge of our seats listening to where the nugget of truth is. What they are saying may not all be true or all accurate but there is going to be something in that critique that is going to be true. It’s a hard thing to do…trust me I struggle with it. But I am learning that when we are open to listen and to find that nugget of truth you become more wise as a person. So remember to listen TWICE as much as you talk! You were given two ears for a reason 😉
photos from google.com